SFP

sfp-5-128-for-web

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  • Markus

    Kill?

  • Kid Chaos

    Mary, Mary, quite contrary
    How does your murder-closet grow?

  • Arthur Frayn

    That looks like an overhead picture or diagram of a dam. I wonder if Mary’s planing to destroy it. Today’s mouse-over text is “Everyone needs a place where they can relax and be themselves.” What’s actually odd about today’s comic is the door in the secret room behind Alison is closed, as if it too is insubstantial and she just walked through it like the linen closet. (Random thoughts when awake too early.)

  • Lostman

    Ya… Mary has gone off the freak deep end…

  • Liz

    How come murder rooms are always so poorly-lit and maintained? Get some floral wall-paper, maybe a nice light-fixture, glue some cute buttons to the backs of the tacks on your target-board… plotting other people’s deaths is so much nicer in a homey environment.

    This message has been brought to you by Martha Stewart Killing.

    • Nexxo

      World of Interiors Special July Edition. From Cave to Suave: top 10 stylish lairs of the super villains and heroes.

    • Ian Osmond

      Have you been watching ORPHAN BLACK? I think you just described Alison Hendrix.

  • chaosvii

    I count 9 ominous X’s
    Wonderful! It looks like Alison found the illusory blanket for illusory-Moonshadow in the illusory linen closet! Almost justifies the breaking & entering thing.

    • Pol Subanajouy

      Illusory linen! So comfortable, you’ll feel like you’re sleeping on air!

  • Markus

    Kennedy’s a solid fuck, and I know I can’t kill Teddy, so Georgie has to go.

    • Liz

      Patrick’s already said that out of necessity he’s got impressive moves, so he’s definitely a fuck. It’s only a matter of time before Hector turns into a bitter has-been, and Lisa ain’t bad for marriage material, so marry Lisa, kill Hector.

      Superman, Batman, Spiderman.

      • Markus

        I went with Hector as the kill because he’s lacking in both fuck and marriage departments, unlike both Lisa and Pat. From there it was weighing the short v. long term benefits of emotional intimacy and inventive skill. I went with Lisa for fuck because while her inventing is powerful enough to give me a life of ease it also drives a wedge between us when she’s caught up in it. Besides that her sex toy repository would be absurd.

        Spiderman’s contractually obligated to be sad all the time, so I can’t marry him. Supes would literally shatter my spinal column with a single thrust, so no fucking. I can’t kill Batman because he’s Batman. Given those restrictions, Spiderman seems pretty down to bone, and I’ll marry Batman so he can give me the kryptonite ring to kill Superman (although the mansion and butler are nice perks too).

        Jackie Chan, Jack Black, Jack Nicholson, go.

        • Kid Chaos

          Fuck Jack Nicholson, since he’s obviously the best lover of the bunch. Kill Jack Black (even though I love him), to take the easiest kill. Marry Jackie Chan, since he’s the only one left.

          • Insanenoodlyguy

            As a straight guy I really wish my timing had been better here!

            Hmmm, Michael C. Hall I don’t want to typecast but he freaks me out a little. Phelps has that swimers body, and Cera I find the cutest. So Kill Hall, Marry Cera, Fuck Phelps.

            REPUBLICAN PARTY FRONTRUNNERS MFK: Bush, Walker, Rubio!

          • Ian Osmond

            I just want to say — I saw Michael C. Hall off Broadway in HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH. If you had, you might make different choices…

          • Insanenoodlyguy

            Agree to disagree brah.. NOW CHOSE YOUR REPUBLICAN PARTY LIFEMATE

          • Ian Osmond

            Kill Walker; he’s been screwing over Wisconsin. Marco Rubio is cute, so do him. Bush has that sweet, sweet Bush family money, and he’s the least objectionable of the younger Bushes, so, marry him.

          • Markus

            Critical misplay. Jackie Chan is a terrible husband and has a pack of illegitimate children, one of which he verbally abuses on Chinese national television.

      • Lostman

        Doesn’t matter; everyone with superpowers are going off the rails, only time will tell when Lisa finally snaps.

        • Lisa is courting the robot singularity/apocalypse with all the ardor of a Ray Kurzweil acolyte, I think she snapped a few months ago.

  • Markus

    Her killing rapists has been, so far as we can tell, ineffectual. She might be performing a mass killing to try and prove some point. Either that or destroying it in some heat related way so it makes Furnace look like a criminal.

    • Lostman

      ‘Mary no mad dog killer she must be after something!’

  • Lostman

    Wouldn’t that be a kick in the head.

  • Perlite

    Does this mean… MARY DOESN’T USE TOWELS?! Truly a dastardly fiend.

  • Kid Chaos

    It could be worse; she could be growing pot on the side. Now THAT stuff will rack up an electric bill!

  • Kid Chaos

    The “kill” part would be rather tricky; the “frame” part, on the other hand…

  • Lostman

    This isn’t feminism; a little while ago I would of call it sadism but think we’re little past that now.

  • Insanenoodlyguy

    Going after the dam, likely not. But as places to kill a hotman go…

  • Arthur Frayn

    Yes, because the door Alison just apparently walked through is closed.

  • Abel Undercity

    Couldn’t fit it into the verse.

  • Markus

    You say ‘tomato tomahto,’ I say ‘tomato tomato.’ Let’s call the whole thing off.

  • Mechwarrior

    Either that or she’s planning to free Megatron.

  • Sabrina Paquette

    So Mary has become an illusionist? Maybe her powers are expanding as well

  • EveryZig

    Well at least there aren’t any bits of people scattered around.

  • Rod

    Well… Alison’s in much deeper trouble than I suspected. Not in “she won’t be able to catch her” or “she won’t be able to prove anything,” but in actual, literal trouble.

    Mary can generate multiple illusions, which can be independently static. In addition, she can at least create illusions active enough to allow herself to be invisible. She might even be able to do more. This has catapulted her to being one of the worst possible villains for Alison to face.

    The upshot of this is: if Mary actually catches Alison, Alison’s likely to be the one begging for mercy before it’s all over. Consider:

    – Alison finds Mary, goes to punch her just hard enough to knock her out… and finds herself punching a toddler on a ledge that Mary put in place deliberately.

    – Alison engages Mary, and is suddenly confronted by “hallucinations” of several of the nasty superhero-related events from her past… along with all manner of soul-wrenching visual horrors that we choose to never think about, but which we know occur daily, somewhere.

    – Massive sensory assault (sight, noise, smell, etc.) where everything being experienced is beyond the threshold of pain.

    – Alison walks out the door of the closet, and the entire world goes blinding white. Forever.

    Things have gotten even more interesting, but in a very bad way.

    • Rod

      Really, the nastiest part of this is that it implies Mary has a thousand ways to kill, and cleanly, no less. With all of her targets so far, something as simple as convincing them the street was clear when instead traffic was fast and heavy would be enough. She could easily get away with not ever even being a suspect. Or with convincing people that some remote TK was using a shard of glass to do it. She’s being deliberate and obvious, as if she’s trying to pull a Kira.

      Which makes her targeting of Furnace suddenly more important. She can’t off dozens of rapists a day, every day, for months on end. While she can punish, projecting an aura of omniscient, unavoidable judgment isn’t going to happen without more attention than she can generate at her kill rate… but adding a highly public, superhero death to the mix might accelerate that. Heck, she might even toss her identity out there while doing it, just to drive home the point, because… what are they going to do to catch her now?

      Crap.

  • Markus

    Here’s a reddit link to a full summary:
    https://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/35fyl8/my_favorite_jackie_chan_story/cr47urw

    Here’s a link to drug charges against his legitimate son, and I believe his only legitimate child:
    http://www.cnn.com/2015/01/08/world/asia/china-jackie-chan-son/

    Here’s a wiki link about that son, most notably Jackie disinherited him after the drug charges:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaycee_Chan#Relationship_with_Jackie_Chan

    Here’s a link about child abuse occurring on his illegitimate daughter:
    http://masterherald.com/jackie-chans-illegitimate-daughter-continues-to-disobey-her-mother-for-alleged-abuse/15527/

  • Pol Subanajouy

    Like I said earlier, Allison needs to be more careful than I’ve ever seen her bfore at this point. Illusionist versus super strength has the potential for awful tragedy.

  • Pol Subanajouy

    If I was nervous before, sirens are blaring for me now. Moonshadow is apparently calculating and methodical, her powers are full blow illusion casting and she has a long history with Al. There’s just so much that could go wrong here.

    And should we recognize that dam?

  • Mary’s doing something very similar to Feral here, isn’t she? She’s sacrificing her own morality in exchange for the safety of all the potential future victims of her victims. And it’s not enough, it’s not going to fix the underlying problem, but it’s something she is personally equipped to do because of her powers. Somehow I don’t think Alison’s gonna let her keep going til Alison figures out a way to end rape culture tho